A Father Supplicating Against his Child

By His Eminence

Shaikh Abdul-Aziz ibn Baz may Allah have mercy upon him

Q:  A man with three children, whom are not negligent in regards to being obedient and dutiful to him, supplicates against them.  Will his supplication harm them?

A:  It is not appropriate that a person supplicate against his or her children as this should be refrained from as he or she could supplicate during the hour when prayers are answered so this person should not supplicate against them and if they are righteous then the prohibition is more severe.  As for them being negligent then it is still not appropriate that he supplicate against them, instead he should supplicate for them with guidance, rectification, and success.  This is how the believer should be.  There are texts from the prophet, peace and blessings are upon, warning the Muslim from supplicating against his child, family, and wealth so that his prayer does not coincide with the hour in which supplications are answered thus harming himself, his family, or his child.  So it is a must for the one asking the question to safeguard his tongue and to stress and emphasize to the one who was taught this or does this to safeguard their tongue and to fear Allah so that they refrains from supplicating against their child or other Muslims, instead they pray for them asking for good, success, and uprightness.

Translated by Brother Eesa John Starling

Advice to Mothers Whose Children Distract Their Prayers

QUESTION: A woman prays in her house, having many young children and no family members or servants to assist her. She feels that her prayers are always deficient or unacceptable as a result of her lack of concentration due to the children's constant activities. What is your advice to her? ANSWER: by Shaykh Muhammad 'Umar Baazmool, instructor at Umm Al-Quraa University in Makkah This woman, so long as she offers the prayer with its prescribed manner, after being purified (having wudhoo'), reciting (Soorah Al-Faatihah), standing, bowing, raising up, prostrating, sitting, prostrating again, with tama'neenah (resting fully in each position), then her prayer is valid in shaa' Allaah. And she should feel free of any blame by offering this prayer, by Allaah's Permission. She (also) gets the reward for all of her work in the house and taking care of her children. One time the Messenger (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) was leading the people in prayer in the masjid, and he shortened the prayer. So they said, "O Messenger of Allaah! You have prayed in a way that we have not seen from you before!" or a phrase similar to this. He replied (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam): "I heard the crying of a child, and I supposed that his mother was praying with us, so I wanted to free his mother for him." [1] So here the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam), praying one of the obligatory prayers in congregation, shortened the prayer, showing concern for this child. So in this there is evidence to support that if a woman was to shorten her (recitation in her) prayer due to her responsibilities toward her house or her child, while she has no assistance, then there is no harm in that, so long as she offered her prayer in the manner ordained in the Sharee'ah. And Allaah, the Mighty and Exalted, says [2]: سُوۡرَةُ التّغَابُن فَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ مَا ٱسۡتَطَعۡتُمۡ وَٱسۡمَعُواْ وَأَطِيعُواْ وَأَنفِقُواْ خَيۡرً۬ا لِّأَنفُسِڪُمۡ‌ۗ وَمَن يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفۡسِهِۦ فَأُوْلَـٰٓٮِٕكَ هُمُ ٱلۡمُفۡلِحُونَ (١٦) ( So fear Allaah to the best of your ability )64:16 And the Messenger (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "...And when I have ordered you with something, then do as much of it as you are able." [3] Therefore she offers the prayer to the best of her ability, fulfilling her duty and thus freeing herself from any blame. In addition, she will be rewarded by Allaah, the Glorified and Exalted, for being a good wife to her husband, taking care of the family, and staying on top of all her responsibilities. By these things she reaps great rewards and obtains lofty virtues. And by these things, her reward is with Allaah, the Glorified and Exalted. She will also have a magnificent reward from Allaah, the Glorified and Exalted, for all her patience and forbearance, (as Allaah says) [4]: سُوۡرَةُ الزُّمَر قُلۡ يَـٰعِبَادِ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمۡ‌ۚ لِلَّذِينَ أَحۡسَنُواْ فِى هَـٰذِهِ ٱلدُّنۡيَا حَسَنَةٌ۬‌ۗ وَأَرۡضُ ٱللَّهِ وَٲسِعَةٌ‌ۗ إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى ٱلصَّـٰبِرُونَ أَجۡرَهُم بِغَيۡرِ حِسَابٍ۬ (١٠) ( Verily those who persevere will receive their reward without measure )39:10 FOOTNOTES: [1] from an authentic hadeeth collected by Ahmad, see The Prophet's Prayer Described (p.25 of the English version) sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam [2] the meaning of Soorah At-Taghaabun (64):16 [3] Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree #7288 (13/317 of Fat-hul-Baaree) [4] the meaning of Soorah Az-Zumar (39):10 SOURCE This was translated exclusively for www.bakkah.net from a cassette recording with the knowledge and permission of the shaykh, file no. AAMB017, dated 1423/6/25.

The Ibtilaa’ (Testing)

Sometimes old memories come back to haunt our minds, we try to shove them as deep as we can to avoid them but,

 

سُوۡرَةُ الرّعد

ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَتَطۡمَٮِٕنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكۡرِ ٱللَّهِ‌ۗ أَلَا بِذِڪۡرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطۡمَٮِٕنُّ ٱلۡقُلُوبُ (٢٨

'Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest' 13:28 

Alhamdulillah there are valuable lessons to learn from the trials that are put before us if only we took heed, and maybe those memories creep back into the front of our minds to reminds us of those lessons. Subhanallah how many times do we receive warnings and signs and we ignore them? Maybe it's time to let those memories come to the surface no matter how painful it may be and reflect on the wisdom of your Creator.

سُوۡرَةُ الزُّمَر

۞ وَإِذَا مَسَّ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ ضُرٌّ۬ دَعَا رَبَّهُ ۥ مُنِيبًا إِلَيۡهِ ثُمَّ إِذَا خَوَّلَهُ ۥ نِعۡمَةً۬ مِّنۡهُ نَسِىَ مَا كَانَ يَدۡعُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهِ مِن قَبۡلُ وَجَعَلَ لِلَّهِ أَندَادً۬ا لِّيُضِلَّ عَن سَبِيلِهِۦ‌ۚ قُلۡ تَمَتَّعۡ بِكُفۡرِكَ قَلِيلاً‌ۖ إِنَّكَ مِنۡ أَصۡحَـٰبِ ٱلنَّارِ (٨

And when some hurt touches man, he cries to his Lord (Allaah Alone), turning to Him in repentance. But when He bestows a favour upon him from Himself, he forgets that for which he cried for before, [az-Zumar 39:8]

سُوۡرَةُ السَّجدَة

وَلَنُذِيقَنَّهُم مِّنَ ٱلۡعَذَابِ ٱلۡأَدۡنَىٰ دُونَ ٱلۡعَذَابِ ٱلۡأَكۡبَرِ لَعَلَّهُمۡ يَرۡجِعُونَ (٢١

And verily, We will make them taste of the near torment (i.e. the torment in the life of this world, i.e. disasters, calamities) prior to the supreme torment (in the Hereafter), in order that they may (repent and) return (i.e. accept Islaam).} [as-Sajdah 32:21]

سُوۡرَةُ الاٴنعَام

فَلَمَّا نَسُواْ مَا ذُڪِّرُواْ بِهِۦ فَتَحۡنَا عَلَيۡهِمۡ أَبۡوَٲبَ ڪُلِّ شَىۡءٍ حَتَّىٰٓ إِذَا فَرِحُواْ بِمَآ أُوتُوٓاْ أَخَذۡنَـٰهُم بَغۡتَةً۬ فَإِذَا هُم مُّبۡلِسُونَ (٤٤

When Our Torment reached them, why then did they not humble themselves (believe with humility)? But their hearts became hardened, and Shaitân (Satan) made fair-seeming to them that which they used to do. (43) So, when they forgot (the warning) with which they had been reminded, We opened for them the gates of every (pleasant) thing, until in the midst of their enjoyment in that which they were given, all of a sudden, We took them (in punishment), and lo! They were plunged into destruction with deep regrets and sorrows. [Al-Anaam 6:44]
 

Imam ibn Al Qayyim (rahimahullah) said: The ibtilaa’ (testing) of the believer is like medicine for him. It cures him from illness. Had the illness remained it would destroy him or diminish his reward and level (in the hereafter). The tests and the trials extract these illnesses from him and prepare him for the perfect reward and the highest of degrees (in the life to come).”

Calamities, trials and tests are signs of love from Allaah for the believers. They are comparable to a cure; although it may be bitter, you accept it because it is from the one whom you love; and to Allaah belongs the best example.
Ibn Al-Qayyim’s Book: “Ighaathatul Lahfan” p. 286.

Wa-Allahu ta'ala alam.


Source: Towards huda.

How many people have caused misery to their own children

  قال تعالى فى سورة التحريم{ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَاراً وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ} 6

Surah At-Tahrim

O ye who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire whereof the fuel is men and stones, over which are set angels strong, severe, who resist not Allah in that which He commandeth them, but do that which they are commanded. (6)

Ibn al-Qayyim:

“How many people have caused misery to their own children, the apples of their eyes, in this world and in the Hereafter, by neglecting them, not disciplining them, encouraging them to follow their whims and desires, thinking that they were honoring them when they were in fact humiliating them, that they were being merciful to them when in fact they were wronging them. They have not benefited from having a child, and they have made the child lose his share in this world and in the Hereafter. If you think about the corruption of children you will see that in most cases it is because of the parents.”

(Tuhfat al-Mawlood, p. 146)

Ten Errors in the Practice of Ruqya

All Praise is due to Allah, and may the Salaat and Salaam be upon the last Messenger…to proceed:
The Permanent Committee for Scholarly Research and Fatwa have looked at what was sent to his Excellency, the Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, by the esteemed Minister of Islamic Affairs, Guidance and Da'wah, along with a report prepared by a representative of the Ministry of Islamic Affairs as well as a representative of the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice in Qaseem. These reports were subsequently referred to the Permanent Committee by the General Affairs Committee for the Major Scholars of Saudi Arabia with reference # 139 dated 8/1/1418 H. The documents consisted of a number of points that were responded to with the following:

1: Reading [Quran] over water mixed with saffron, then submerging leaves in the water and drying them [for future use]. Later, mixing the leaves with water and drinking it

Comments: Reading over water that contains saffron, then submerging leaves in that water and later selling these leaves as a cure – this practice is not permissible, rather it must be prevented, because this is a method of cheating people out of their money through false means. This is not a form of permissible Ruqya which the scholars have deemed permissible – which is to write Ayaat from the Quran on a piece of paper or some other pure material, then washing the writing off and drinking the water.

2: Is it correct for a person who is afflicted with 'Ayn (the evil eye) to have the person who afflicted him/her appear while the Raqee¹ is reading over him/her. Also, is it correct for the Raqee to request the Jinn to show the sick person who it was that afflicted him with 'Ayn?

Comments: The issue of the person behind the 'Ayn appearing before the sick person during the reading session, or the Raqee ordering the Jinn to do so is from the work of the Shaytaan and is not permissible. This is a form of seeking aid from the Shayateen who would appear in the form of the person who afflicted the sick person with 'Ayn. This practice is prohibited because; it involves seeking the aid of Shayateen, it causes enmity between people, it spreads fear amongst them and is therefore included in the statement of 

قال الله تعالى فى سُوۡرَةُ الجنّ

وَأَنَّهُ ۥ كَانَ رِجَالٌ۬ مِّنَ ٱلۡإِنسِ يَعُوذُونَ بِرِجَالٍ۬ مِّنَ ٱلۡجِنِّ فَزَادُوهُمۡ رَهَقً۬ا (٦

Allah the Exalted: {And verily, there were men among mankind who took shelter with the masculine among the jinns, but they (jinns) increased them (mankind) in sin and disbelief} [Al-Jinn: 6] 

3: The issue of touching a woman; whether it is touching her hand, forehead or neck without any barrier with the excuse of applying pressure upon the Jinn within her, especially since this takes place in hospitals by doctors, what are the regulations concerning this affair?

Comments: It is not permissible for the Raqee to touch any part of a woman he is performing Ruqyaa over because of the Fitnah involved with this practice. He is only to read over her without touching her. There is a difference between the work of a Raqee and the work of a Doctor, a doctor may be unable to heal an injured area except by touching it, in contrast to the Raqee, his practice only involves reading and lightly blowing, it does not depend on touching.

4: Bringing a large ring with Ayaat and Adhkaar related to magic, 'Ayn and the Jinn written on it, submerging the ring in water mixed with saffron, then using the ring to stamp these Ayaat on papers which would later be mixed with water for drinking.

Comments: It is not permissible for the Raqee to write Ayaat and Adhkaar on rings, submerge them in water mixed with saffron, then use these rings as a stamp that takes the place of writing, the stamped papers are later washed and the water drank. This is because it is from the conditions of the legislated Ruqyaa, that both the Raqee and the one whom Ruqyaa is practiced upon, must have the intention of healing from the Book of Allah while these Ayaat are written. 

5: The sick person smelling a wolf's skin with the justification that this would bring the presence of a Jinn to light, because the Jinn, according to them, fears wolves, becomes nervous in their presence and escapes.

Comments: The Raqee using a wolf's skin to have the ill person smell it to ascertain the presence of a Jinn is impermissible. This is because this is only mysticism and is based upon false beliefs. This practice must be completely prevented, their claim that the Jinn fear wolves is only superstition and is void of any evidence.

6: Reading the Quran during Ruqyaa with a speaker, or through a phone due to long distances, or reading over a large group of people at one time.

Comments: Ruqya must be performed upon the sick person directly, it cannot be done through the medium of a speaker or phone because this contradicts the practice of the Messenger of Allah and his companions, may Allah be pleased with them, and those who followed them upon goodness.

قال رسول الله صل الله عليه وسلم (من أحدث في أمرنا هذا ما ليس منه فهو رد ) أخرجه البخاري ومسلم وفي رواية لمسلم (من عمل عملا ليس عليه أمرنا فهو رد

The Messenger of Allah said:

"Whoever innovates something in this affair of ours will have it rejected."

7: Seeking the aid of the Jinn in identifying 'Ayn or magic, likewise believing the Jinn who is within the afflicted person with the justification of magic or 'Ayn and building upon his claims.

Comments: It is not permissible to seek the aid of the Jinn to ascertain the type of affliction and how to cure it because seeking the aid of Jinn is Shirk.

قال الله تعالى فى سُوۡرَةُ الجنّ

وَأَنَّهُ ۥ كَانَ رِجَالٌ۬ مِّنَ ٱلۡإِنسِ يَعُوذُونَ بِرِجَالٍ۬ مِّنَ ٱلۡجِنِّ فَزَادُوهُمۡ رَهَقً۬ا (٦

Allah the Elevated said:

{And verily, there were men among mankind who took shelter with the masculine among the jinns, but they (jinns) increased them (mankind) in sin and disbelief} [Al-Jinn: 6]

وقال الله تعالى فى سُوۡرَةُ الاٴنعَام

وَيَوۡمَ يَحۡشُرُهُمۡ جَمِيعً۬ا يَـٰمَعۡشَرَ ٱلۡجِنِّ قَدِ ٱسۡتَكۡثَرۡتُم مِّنَ ٱلۡإِنسِ‌ۖ وَقَالَ أَوۡلِيَآؤُهُم مِّنَ ٱلۡإِنسِ رَبَّنَا ٱسۡتَمۡتَعَ بَعۡضُنَا بِبَعۡضٍ۬ وَبَلَغۡنَآ أَجَلَنَا ٱلَّذِىٓ أَجَّلۡتَ لَنَا‌ۚ قَالَ ٱلنَّارُ مَثۡوَٮٰكُمۡ خَـٰلِدِينَ فِيهَآ إِلَّا مَا شَآءَ ٱللَّهُ‌ۗ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ حَكِيمٌ عَلِيمٌ۬ (١٢٨ 
  He - the Majestic - also said:

{And on the Day when He will gather them (all) together (and say): "O assembly of jinn! Many did you mislead of men," and their Awliyaa (friends and helpers) amongst men will say: "Our Lord! We benefited one from the other, but now we have reached our appointed term which You did appoint for us." He will say: "The Fire be your dwelling place, you will dwell therein forever, except as Allah may will. Certainly your Lord is All-Wise, All-Knowing." [Al An'aam: 128]

The meaning of each of them taking pleasure with one another is that mankind glorified the Jinn, subjected themselves to them and sought refuge with them. The Jinn in return served them and brought them what they requested; amongst this is informing them of the type of sickness and its causes which only the Jinn can see. They may lie concerning this, indeed they are not to be trusted and it is not permissible to believe them.
  
 8: The issue of playing an audio device with Quran for the sick person for a number of hours, and selecting specific verses about magic, 'Ayn and Jinn to play.
Comments: Playing an audio file with Quran or Adhkar does not take the place of Ruqya, because Ruqya is a practice that requires belief and intention while it is being performed and when the afflicted person is being blown upon. This cannot be done using an audio device.

9: Writing verses of the Quran and various supplications on paper and sticking them on parts of the body of the afflicted person such as his chest, or folding them and placing them on the molars, or writing legislated supplications on a piece of paper, wrapping it with leather and placing it under the bed or in other places, or hanging amulets consisting of the Quran, Dhikr or supplications.

Comments: Sticking papers with Quran or supplications on them on the body, or placing them under beds or elsewhere is not permissible, because this is a form of hanging amulets that was prohibited in the

Prophets statement:

"May Allah not complete the need of a person who hangs an amulet." 

  "عن عقبة بن عامر مرفوعاً: قال الرسول صل الله عليه وسلم:

"من تعلق تميمة فلا أتم الله له

 

And his statement:

"Indeed [the impermissible type of] Ruqaa, amulets and Tawlah [a form of magic] are Shirk."

وعن ابن مسعود رضي الله عنه قال: سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول: "إن الرُّقى، والتمائم، والتِّوَلة شرك
 10: There are some supplications with no basis, such as 'Hajar Yabis, Shihab Qaabis…'

Comments: This supplication has no basis and consists of transgression towards others who were not behind the eye, it is not permissible to use it due to the statement of the Prophet:

"Whoever innovates something in this affair of ours will have it rejected." 

 قال الرسول -صل الله عليه وسلم - وقد ثبت عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال " من أحدث فى أمرنا هذا ما ليس منه فهو رد "

وصل اللهم على محمد  وعلى وصحبه وسلم

And may the Salaat and Salaam be upon our prophet Muhammad, his family and companions.

Source:  alifta.net
http://subulassalaam.com/articles/article.cfm?article_id=149 

هل يحرم الوالدان شفاعة الولدان بترك العقيقة عنهم ؟؟؟

بسم الله والحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم ،أما بعد

---

فعن سمرة رضي الله عنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم :الغلام مرتهن بعقيقته يذبح عنه يوم السابع ويسمى ويحلق رأسه
رَوَاهُ أَحْمد وَأَصْحَاب السّنَن الْأَرْبَعَة وَالْحَاكِم وصححه الالباني وابن الملقن وقَالَ التِّرْمِذِيّ : هَذَا حَدِيث حسن صَحِيح . وَقَالَ الْحَاكِم : هَذَا حَدِيث صَحِيح الْإِسْنَاد .

وقال الامام البخاري في صحيحه (5155)- حدثني عبد الله بن أبي الأسود حدثنا قريش بن أنس عن حبيب بن الشهيد قال
: أمرني ابن سيرين أن أسأل الحسن ممن سمع حديث العقيقة ؟ فسألته فقال من سمرة بن جندب.

قال الحافظ بن حجر في فتح الباري في شرح صحيح البخاري :((قوله "حديث العقيقة" لم يقع في البخاري بيان الحديث المذكور وكأنه اكتفى عن إيراده بشهرته، وقد أخرجه أصحاب السنن من رواية قتادة عن الحسن عن سمرة عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: "الغلام مرتهن بعقيقته، تذبح عنه يوم السابع، ويحلق رأسه، ويسمى" قال الترمذي: حسن صحيح

يقول الامام البغوي في شرح السنة :وقد تكلم الناس في معنى قوله : " مرتهن بعقيقته " أجودها ما قال أحمد بن حنبل : أن معناه أنه إن مات طفلا ولم يعق عنه لم يشفع لوالديه ، ويروى عن قتادة أيضا أنه يحرم شفاعتهم

ويقول ابن القيم في كتابه "تحفة المودود بأحكام المولود" ((وقد ذكر البيهقي عن سلمان بن شرحبيل حدثنا يحيى بن حمزة قال
قلت لعطاء الخرساني ما مرتهن بعقيقته قال يحرم شفاعة ولده وقال اسحق بن هانيء سألت أبا عبد الله عن حديث النبي الغلام مرتهن بعقيقته ما معناه قال نعم سنة النبي- صل الله عليه وسلم- أن يعق عن الغلام شاتان وعن الجارية شاة فإذا لم يعق عنه فهو محتبس بعقيقته حتى يعق عنه وقال الأثرم قال أبو عبد الله ما في هذه الأحاديث أوكد من هذا يعني في العقيقة كل غلام مرتهن بعقيقته وقال يعقوب بن بختان سئل أبو عبد الله عن العقيقة فقال ما أعلم فيه شيئا أشد من هذا الحديث الغلام مرتهن بعقيقته وقال حنبل قال أبو عبد الله ولا أحب لمن أمكنه وقدر أن لا يعق عن ولده ولا يدعه لأن النبي قال الغلام مرتهن بعقيقته وهو أشد ما روي فيه وإنما كره النبي من ذلك الاسم وأما الذبح فالنبي - صل الله عليه وسلم - قد فعل ذلك وقال أحمد بن القاسم قيل لأبي عبد الله العقيقة واجبة هي فقال أما واجبة فلا أدري لا أقول واجبة ثم قال أشد شيء فيه أن الرجل مرتهن بعقيقته وقد قال أحمد في موضع آخر مرتهن عن الشفاعة لوالديه

وقال الخطابي كما نقل عنه الحافظ ابن حجر في فتح الباري

 
اِخْتَلَفَ النَّاس فِي هَذَا ، وَأَجْوَد مَا قِيلَ فِيهِ مَا ذَهَبَ إِلَيْهِ أَحْمَد بْن حَنْبَلٍ قَالَ : هَذَا فِي الشَّفَاعَة ، يُرِيد أَنَّهُ إِذَا لَمْ يُعَقّ عَنْهُ فَمَاتَ طِفْلًا لَمْ يَشْفَع فِي أَبَوَيْهِ

وقال الصنعاني في سبل السلام : وَنَقَلَهُ الْحَلِيمِيُّ عَنْ عَطَاءٍ الْخُرَاسَانِيِّ وَمُحَمَّدِ بْنِ مُطَرِّفٍ وَهُمَا إمَامَانِ عَالَمَانِ مُتَقَدِّمَانِ عَلَى أَحْمَدَ

قال الطيبي: ولا ريب أن الإمام أحمد بن حنبل ما ذهب إلى هذا القول إلا بعدما تلقى من الصحابة والتابعين على أنه إمام من الأئمة الكبار يجب أن يتلقى كلامه بالقبول ويحسن الظن به

ونسأل الله أن يُرِيَنا الحقَّ حقّاً ويُعِيننا على أتِّباعه وأن يُرِيَنا الباطل باطلاً ويُعِينَنا على اجتنابه، والحمد لله رب العالمين.

On Choosing a School and Friends for Your Children - 'Abdus-Salaam As-Sulaymaan

"Raising Children in Light of the Qur'aan and Sunnah" by 'Abdus-Salaam As-Sulaymaan.

5. Choosing a School:

The father should strive to carefully choose a good school for his child, thus selecting the one that is of the finest quality and not necessarily the one that is closest to him. He should also ask those involved in the field of teaching and educating, who are sincere and honest, as to which of the schools is the best.

School has a deep impact on a student since it is there that he spends a quarter of his day - which is in fact the best time of the day. In the school he learns and is educated, and that is the place where he finds friends and companions.

So based on this, the father must keep a close connection with the school by going to visit it, staying in contact with it by phone and asking about the state of his son or daughter. He should be concerned with asking about his child's character, behavior and friends before asking about his grades.

He should also follow up on his child's educational development and studies, and check his notes and homework and be aware of the remarks the teacher makes to his child's work so that he may correct it.

So your concern with your child's studies and your solid relationship with his school, his teachers, his schoolwork, and his levels of education is a good that will assist in his well-being and learning, by the will of Allaah.

6. Choosing a Friend:

From the things in which there is no doubt is that a friend has a profound effect on an individual - whether positive or negative. Sufficient to clarify this point is the statement of the Prophet (sallAllaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) when he said: "The example of the righteous companion and the evil companion is like that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith." [Reported by Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]

The Prophet (sallAllaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) also said: "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let each of you look into whom he takes as a close friend." [Reported by Abu Dawood]

Therefore, O father, it is incumbent upon you to look for a good friend and a sincere companion for your child before he chooses one on his own, for he may choose the wrong ones and then grow attached to them, after which it will be hard for you to separate them.

There are many accounts, too numerous to be recorded, in which children were raised in good environments and in conservative households but ended up mixing with bad companions on the pretext that they were going on a trip or an outing with them or using the excuse that they wanted to play with them or have fun with them or study with them. And the end result of this was that they had a negative effect on them.

In these days it is extremely difficult for a father to raise his child in exclusion of friends. Trials and temptations constantly surround the youth from all directions.

Bad friends can either be people who are engulfed in their desires or in misconceptions. If they are those who are given into whims and desires, they will lead your child towards mischief and a digression from good character. As for those who follow misconceptions, they will lead your child towards innovations and opposing the guidance of the pious predecessors (Salaf as-Saalih). Perhaps he may even fall into the acts of declaring Muslims disbelievers and innovators. This particularly applies to the members of those methodologies that are foreign to this country (i.e. Saudi Arabia), as has occurred to some of our youth, may Allaah guide them and return them back to the truth.

In conclusion, I ask Allaah to rectify for all of us our intentions and offspring, and that He forgive our parents, granting them the best of rewards on our behalf. I ask Allaah to assist us in being dutiful to them during their lives as well as after their deaths.

I also ask Allaah to aid us in raising our children upon the Qur'aan and the Sunnah and to make them righteous offspring and an enjoyment to our eyes in this life by, through their uprightness, and after death, through their righteous deeds.

May the peace and praises of Allaah be upon our prophet Muhammad.

Source:

 From Al-Ibaanah publication: "Raising Children in Light of the Qur'aan and Sunnah" by 'Abdus-Salaam As-Sulaymaan. The book was intorduced and commended by Shaikh Saalih Al-Fawzaan.

Advice to Mothers Whose Children Distract Their Prayers

QUESTION:

A woman prays in her house, having many young children and no family members or servants to assist her. She feels that her prayers are always deficient or unacceptable as a result of her lack of concentration due to the children's constant activities. What is your advice to her?

ANSWER:

by Shaykh Muhammad 'Umar Baazmool, instructor at Umm Al-Quraa University in Makkah

This woman, so long as she offers the prayer with its prescribed manner, after being purified (having wudhoo'), reciting (Soorah Al-Faatihah), standing, bowing, raising up, prostrating, sitting, prostrating again, with tama'neenah (resting fully in each position), then her prayer is valid in shaa' Allaah.

And she should feel free of any blame by offering this prayer, by Allaah's Permission. She (also) gets the reward for all of her work in the house and taking care of her children.

One time the Messenger (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) was leading the people in prayer in the masjid, and he shortened the prayer. So they said, "O Messenger of Allaah! You have prayed in a way that we have not seen from you before!" or a phrase similar to this.

He replied (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam):

"I heard the crying of a child, and I supposed that his mother was praying with us, so I wanted to free his mother for him." [1]

So here the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam), praying one of the obligatory prayers in congregation, shortened the prayer, showing concern for this child. So in this there is evidence to support that if a woman was to shorten her (recitation in her) prayer due to her responsibilities toward her house or her child, while she has no assistance, then there is no harm in that, so long as she offered her prayer in the manner ordained in the Sharee'ah. And Allaah, the Mighty and Exalted, says [2]:

( So fear Allaah to the best of your ability )

And the Messenger (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:

"...And when I have ordered you with something, then do as much of it as you are able." [3]

Therefore she offers the prayer to the best of her ability, fulfilling her duty and thus freeing herself from any blame. In addition, she will be rewarded by Allaah, the Glorified and Exalted, for being a good wife to her husband, taking care of the family, and staying on top of all her responsibilities. By these things she reaps great rewards and obtains lofty virtues. And by these things, her reward is with Allaah, the Glorified and Exalted.

She will also have a magnificent reward from Allaah, the Glorified and Exalted, for all her patience and forbearance, (as Allaah says) [4]:

( Verily those who persevere will receive their reward without measure )

FOOTNOTES:

[1] from an authentic hadeeth collected by Ahmad, see The Prophet's Prayer Described (p.25 of the English version) sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam

[2] the meaning of Soorah At-Taghaabun (64):16

[3] Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree #7288 (13/317 of Fat-hul-Baaree)

[4] the meaning of Soorah Az-Zumar (39):10

SOURCE

This was translated exclusively for www.bakkah.net from a cassette recording with the knowledge and permission of the shaykh, file no. AAMB017, dated 1423/6/25.

Adopting Children in Islam

Question : All praise be to Allah and may blessings and peace be upon the Messenger , his family and companions. To commence : The Permanent Committee for Islaamic Research and deliverance of legal rulings has looked into the question posed by the Executive secretary of the Punjabi assembly for the welfare of children to his Eminence, the President of the administration of the Islamic research, deliverance of rulings, propagation and guidance committee. The question was then referred to the General secretariat for the board of Great scholars numbered :2/86 dates 15/1/1392 Hijriy. The questioner seeks information pertaining to the rules and principles concerning the rights of an adopted child regarding inheritance. Answer :
1. Adoption was known in the days of ignorance before the message of our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhe was salaam. The adopted son would be ascribed to his foster father, inherit from him, allowed to be in seclusion with his wife and daughters and his foster fathers wife would be forbidden to him in marriage. On the whole the status of an adopted son was that of a begotten one in all affairs. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam adopted Zayd Ibn Haarith Ibn Sharaaheel al-Kilaby before the message of Islaam, and he used to be called Zayd Ibn Muhammad. This form of pre-Islaamic adoption continued until the third or fifth year after the migration to Madeenah(Hijraah).
2. Then Allah ordered to ascribe adopted children to their fathers from those whose loins they originated, if they are known. If their original fathers are unknown they are considered brothers in the religion and as freed slaves to those who adopted them. He, glory be to Him forbade that a child should be ascribed to it’s foster in descent and forbade the child from attributing itself to other than it’s real father, except by a slip of the tongue in error , for there is no blame in that. He, glory be to Him, verified that this ruling is pure justice due to it entailing truth in speech, preservation of lineage, honour, and the reservation of financial rights to those who are more deserving. The Most High said :
“….nor has He made your adopted sons your real sons. That is but your saying with your mouths. But Allâh says the truth, and He guides to the (Right) Way.Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allâh. But if you know not their father’s (names, call them) your brothers in faith and Mawâlîkum (your freed slaves). And there is no sin on you if you make a mistake therein, except in regard to what your hearts deliberately intend. And Allâh is Ever Oft¬Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Al-Ahzab 33:4,5)
Furthermore the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam said :
” Whoever attributes himself to other than his father or ascribes to other than his manumator(the person who frees a slave), then the continuous curse of Allah is upon him”. [Narrated by Abu Daawood.]
3. At His termination of adoption, glory be to Him, ( that is the false acclaiming of son-ship), He terminated those rules that were linked with it in the pre-Islaamic period that had continued into the early stage of Islaam.
a) He terminated inheritance between the adopted and the foster guardian by means of this false son-ship. He made it that each one should be charitable to the other in their lifetimes, and that a deserved share be bequeathed to the other from the deceased that does not exceed a third of his wealth. The Sharee’ah has clarified the laws of inheritance and the deserving heirs in detail without a mention of the adopted or his guardian amongst them. He, the most High, has also mentioned in general those who are to inherit of distant relatives out of kindeness to kin. The Most High said :
“…..And blood relations among each other have closer personal ties in the Decree of Allâh (regarding inheritance) than (the brotherhood of) the believers and the Muhajirûn (emigrants from Makkah, etc.), except that you do kindness to those brothers (when the Prophet Sallallahu alayhe was salaam joined them in brotherhood ties)….”(Al-Ahzab 33:6)
b) Allah has permitted the adopted son to marry the wife of his guardian after his term with her ends and this was forbidden in the pre-Islaamic period. He started with His Messenger in this to be the stronger in its legislation and tougher in terminating the custom of the people of the pre-Islaamic period in forbiddeing this. The Most High said :
“…..So when Zaid had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), We gave her to you in marriage, so that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the believers in respect of (the marriage of) the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have no desire to keep them (i.e. they have divorced them). And Allâh’s Command must be fulfilled. (Al-Ahzab 33:37)
So the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam married Zaynab Bint Jahsh by the command of Allah after Zayd Ibn Haarithah had divorced her.
4. From the preceding , it is clear that the termination of adoption is not the termination of human emotions and Islamic rights such as brotherhood, love, keeping ties, and good treatment, and all that it linked with prestigious morals. It is recommended to do good deeds, as follows:
a) A person is allowed to call he who is younger than him with the words ” O my son…” in treating him with kindeness , gentleness and making him feel loved, so that he may become friendly and listen to his advise or carry out his need. likewise, it is allowed for a person to call who is older than him with the words “…O my father..” out of respect for him and seeking his compassion in order to recieve his kindness , advise and help. Good manners can spread in the society and relationships between its members can strengthen due to this and all can feel a general feeling of brotherhood in faith.
b) The Sharee’ah has encouraged cooperation in doing good and increasing the fear of Allah . It has been recommended for people from all walks of life to love and treat eachother well. The Most High said :
“……Help you one another in Al¬Birr and At¬Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. ….. (Al-Ma’idah 5:2)
Also the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam said :
” The similitude of the believers is their love, compassion and kindness between one another is like that of a body, if a limb complains , the rest of the body collapses with fever and restlessness.”[Narrated by Ahmad and Muslim].
He sallallahu alayhe was salaam furthermore said :
” The believers amongst themselves are like a structure, parts of it srengthen others”.[Narrated by Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidthee and Nasaaee.]
This includes the caring of orphans, the poor, those unable to work and those whose fathers are unknown by tending , raising, and treating them well. So that society may not contain those who are wretched and neglected for they could afflict the Ummah due to their bad upbringing or rebel for having felt the harshness of society and its neglect. It is upon the Islamic governments to establish centres for the disabled , orphans, abandoned children, those who have no families and those who fall under the rulings of these categories. If the treasury of the government does not suffice the needs of such people, assistance can be sought from the affluent of the Ummah, the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam said :
” Any believer who dies and bequeaths wealth, let his heirs whoever they may be inherit from him, if he bequeaths a debt or loss , then let his creditors refer to me, for I am his sponsor”. [Narrated by Bukhari]
May Allah bless and send peace upon the Messenger , his family, and companions.
The Permanent Committee [Fataawa Islaamiyyah 4/497]
Islamic Fatawa Regarding the Muslim Child
pages 172-175

How is Autism diagnosed?

To qualify for a diagnosis, a person must have a total of six or more items from (1), (2), and (3), with at least two from (1) and one each from (2) and (3):

1. Qualitative impairment in social interaction, manifest by at least two of the following:

A. Marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors, such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures and gestures, to regulate social interaction

B. Failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level

C. Lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g., by lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest)

D. Lack of social or emotional reciprocity

Qualitative impairment in communication, as manifest by at least one of the following:

A. Delay in, or total lack of, the development of spoken language (not accompanied by an attempt to compensate through alternative modes of communication such as gesture or mime)

B. In individuals with adequate speech, marked impairment in the ability to initiate or sustain a conversation with others

C. Stereotyped and repetitive use of language, or idiosyncratic language

D. Lack of varied, spontaneous make-believe, or social imitative play appropriate to developmental level

3. Restrictive repetitive and stereotypic patterns of behavior, interests, and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:

A. Encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus

B. Apparently inflexible adherence to specific nonfunctional routines or rituals

C. Stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g., hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements)

D. Persistent preoccupation with parts of objects.

Delays or abnormal functioning in at least one of the following areas, with onset prior to age 3 years:

1. Social interaction

2. Language as used in social communication

3. Symbolic or imaginative play

The disturbance is not better accounted for by Retts Disorder or childhood disintegrative disorder.

Worried about your child?  The simplest way for a parent to determine whether their child may require further screening for autism  is to use the list of criteria from the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition.  It is easy enough for even parents to be able to evaluate their children within a reasonable degree, allowing for further medical assessment and intervention.  The list of criteria is available at the end of this entry.
Additional methods of screening are available, the simplest for toddlers being the Checklist for Autism in Toddlers (CHAT) typically issued by a GP, family physician or pediatrician at the child’s 18 month checkup.  There is also the M-CHAT, or Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers. Both tools are freely available for use and are recommended standards by which to screen.
Beyond screening, the tools for proper assessment and diagnosis are to be used by a trained psychologist and preferably a BCBA- Board Certified Behavioural Analyst.  Some of these tools are the CARS, GARS, and Vineland Adaptive Behavior Scale, and the ABLLS test to measure academic capabilities if applicable.
A proper behavioural, developmental, and psychological assessment takes a few hours with the child as well an interview with the parents to determine where the child’s weaknesses, strengths, and problem behaviours lie.  Following the assessment, parents should expect a detailed report as well as an explanation of the results by the clinical psychologist who conducted the assessment.
The American Psychiatric Association guidelines are as follows:
A. To qualify for a diagnosis, a person must have a total of six or more items from (1), (2), and (3), with at least two from (1) and one each from (2) and (3):
1. Qualitative impairment in social interaction, manifest by at least two of the following:

• A. Marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors, such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures and gestures, to regulate social interaction
• B. Failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level
• C. Lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g., by lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest)
• D. Lack of social or emotional reciprocity

2. Qualitative impairment in communication, as manifest by at least one of the following:

• A. Delay in, or total lack of, the development of spoken language (not accompanied by an attempt to compensate through alternative modes of communication such as gesture or mime)
• B. In individuals with adequate speech, marked impairment in the ability to initiate or sustain a conversation with others
• C. Stereotyped and repetitive use of language, or idiosyncratic language
• D. Lack of varied, spontaneous make-believe, or social imitative play appropriate to developmental level

3. Restrictive repetitive and stereotypic patterns of behavior, interests, and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:

• A. Encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus
• B. Apparently inflexible adherence to specific nonfunctional routines or rituals
• C. Stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g., hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements)
• D. Persistent preoccupation with parts of objects.

B. Delays or abnormal functioning in at least one of the following areas, with onset prior to age 3 years:

1. Social interaction

2. Language as used in social communication

3. Symbolic or imaginative play

C. The disturbance is not better accounted for by Retts Disorder or childhood disintegrative disorder.

http://www.autismuae.com/2009/09/09/how-is-autism-diagnosed/

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

 

 

شرح الإمام السعدي رحمه الله تعالى للآيات

قال تعالى : { وَيَوْمَ يَعَضُّ الظَّالِمُ عَلَىٰ يَدَيْهِ يَقُولُ يَا لَيْتَنِي اتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ الرَّسُولِ سَبِيلًا ﴿27﴾ يَا وَيْلَتَىٰ لَيْتَنِي لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلَانًا خَلِيلًا ﴿28﴾ لَقَدْ أَضَلَّنِي عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَنِي وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِلإِنْسَانِ خَذُولا﴿29﴾}. سورة الفرقان.

قال الإمام العلامة السعدي في تفسيره للقرآن :
( وَيَوْمَ يَعَضُّ الظَّالِمُ ) بشركه وكفره وتكذيبه للرسل ( عَلَى يَدَيْهِ ) تأسفا وتحسرا وحزنا وأسفا. ( يَقُولُ يَا لَيْتَنِي اتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ الرَّسُولِ سَبِيلا ) أي طريقا بالإيمان به وتصديقه واتباعه.
( يَا وَيْلَتَى لَيْتَنِي لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلانًا ) وهو الشيطان الإنسي أو الجني، ( خَلِيلا ) أي: حبيبا مصافيا عاديت أنصح الناس لي، وأبرهم بي وأرفقهم بي، وواليت أعدى عدو لي الذي لم تفدني ولايته إلا الشقاء والخسار والخزي والبوار.
( لَقَدْ أَضَلَّنِي عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَنِي ) حيث زين له ما هو عليه من الضلال بخدعه وتسويله. ( وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِلإنْسَانِ خَذُولا ) يزين له الباطل ويقبح له الحق، ويعده الأماني ثم يتخلى عنه ويتبرأ منه كما قال لجميع أتباعه حين قضي الأمر، وفرغ الله من حساب الخلق {وَقَالَ الشَّيْطَانُ لَمَّا قُضِيَ الأَمْرُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَعَدَكُمْ وَعْدَ الْحَقِّ وَوَعَدْتُكُمْ فَأَخْلَفْتُكُمْ وَمَا كَانَ لِي عَلَيْكُمْ مِنْ سُلْطَانٍ إِلا أَنْ دَعَوْتُكُمْ فَاسْتَجَبْتُمْ لِي فَلا تَلُومُونِي وَلُومُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ مَا أَنَا بِمُصْرِخِكُمْ وَمَا أَنْتُمْ بِمُصْرِخِيَّ إِنِّي كَفَرْتُ بِمَا أَشْرَكْتُمُونِ مِنْ قَبْلُ..} الآية.

فلينظر العبد لنفسه وقت الإمكان وليتدارك الممكن قبل أن لا يمكن، وليوال من ولايته فيها سعادته وليعاد من تنفعه عداوته وتضره صداقته. والله الموفق.

تيسر الكريم الرحمن في تفسير كلام المنان للإمام عبد الرحمن بن ناصر السعدي رحمه الله تعالى.

توجيهات حول تربية البنات

 

الحمد لله وحده والصلاة والسلام على عبده ورسوله محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أما بعد : أيها القراء الكرام : ما منكم من أحد إلا سيبعثه ربه بعد موته ويسائله ويحاسبه عما قدم في ديناه هذه، وإن مما يسأل عنه العبد أهله وولده كيف رعايته إياهم وتربيته لهم وفي هذا يقول صلى الله عليه و سلم (الرجل راع في أهل بيته ومسؤول عن رعيته، والمرأة راعية في بيت زوجها ومسؤولة عن رعيتها ) الحديث. والحديث عن التربية ذو شعب كثيرة ولكني سأقتصر في هذا المقام على ما يتعلق بتربية البنات خاصة، لعظم شأنهن، وبالغ أثرهن في المجتمع أخلاقاً وسلوكاً. فإن البنت إذا كبرت صارت الزوجة والأم والمعلمة وغير ذلك مما ينتظرها من مهمات في الحياة فإذا صلحت صلح شيء كثير وإذا فسدت فسد شيء كثير. ومحاور هذه الكلمة الموجزة ستكون كما يلي: أ- فضل البنات وإبطال الاحتقار الجاهلي . ب- الإحسان إلى البنات صوره ومعالمه . جـ- سبل الوقاية من مخاطر العصر . أ- فضل البنات وإبطال الاحتقار الجاهلي : إذا نظرنا في كتاب الله وجدناه يشنع على أهل الجاهلية الأولى أن الواحد منهم كان يستاء إذا بشر الأنثى يظل وجهه مسوداً وهو كظيم، ثم يستحي من قومه فيتوارى عنهم خجلاً، ثم يأخذ يحدث نفسه أيئدها فيدفنها حية أم يبقيها على الهون، فشنع الله عليهم ذلك وعابه، وهذه المشاعر الجاهلية لا تزال تعشعش في قلوب بعض الرجال ولا سيما إذا كثر من امرأته إنجاب البنات مع أن المرأة كالأرض تنبت ما يلقي الزارع فيها من البذور، وقد يحصل الحال ببعضهم إلى تطليق امرأته عقب ولادتها _ نعوذ بالله من الجهل والجفاء_ لقد كانوا في الجاهلية لا يعدون المرأة شيئاً حتى كان الرجل يدفن ابنته ويربي كلبه ويغدو بهمه . فأبطل الله هذه النظرة الدونية ورفع من قدر المرأة ووضعها في موضعها الطبيعي الملائم مكلفة له حقوقها وعليها واجباتها فخاطبها مخاطبة الرجل أمراً ونهياً وخصها من الأحكام بما يلائمها ويناسب فطرتها. إن الإنجاب أمر قدري أمره بيد الله فهو يهب لمن يشاء إناثاً ويهب لمن يشاء الذكور ويجمع لآخرين الذكور والإناث ويبتلي آخرين بالعقم. قال تعالى (يهب لمن يشاء إناثاً ويهب لمن يشاء الذكور أو يزوجهم ذكراناً وإناثاً ويجعل من يشاء عقيماً) وتأمل كيف قدم الإناث في الذكر وأخر الذكور، رداً على من كان يحقر من شأنهن، ويتنقص من مقدارهن، ولا يعدهن شيئاً. فارض بما قسم الله لك فإنك لا تدري أين الخير كم من أب فرح يوم أن بشر بمقدم ولد ذكر ثم كان وبالاً عليه، وسبباً لتنغيص عيشه، ودوام همه وغمه، وكم من أب ضجر يوم أن بشر بمقدم بنت في حين كان يترقب الذكر فتكون هذه البنت يداً حانية وقلباً رحيماً وعونا على نوائب الدهر. ومن هنا ندرك أن قرة العين على الحقيقة ليس بأن يكون المولود ذكراً أو أنثى إنما تتحق إذا كانت ذرية صالحة طيبة ذكوراً كانوا أم إناثاً قال تعالى في وصف عباد الرحمن (والذين يقولون ربنا هب لنا من أزواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعين واجعلنا للمتقين إماماً). ب- الإحسان إلى البنات صوره ومعالمه: أختي المسلمة: إذا رزقك الله بشيء من البنات فأحسن القيام عليهن تربية ونفقة ومعاملة محتسباً في ذلك الأجر من الله تعالى أو تدري ما لك من الأجر عند الله إذا فعلت ذلك ؟ إنك إذا فعلته كنت مع النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم في الآخرة ففي الحديث يقول صلى الله عليه و سلم (من عال جاريتين _ أي بنتين _ حتى تبلغا جاء يوم القيامة أنا وهو وضم أصابعه) عليه الصلاة والسلام رواه مسلم وقال صلى الله عليه و سلم (من ابتلي من هذه البنات بشيء فأحسن إليهن كن له ستراً من النار) متفق عليه. والإحسان إليهن يكون بأمور كثيرة ومنها : 1- حسن اختيار الأم وهذا أول صور الإحسان إلى الذرية لأن صلاح الأم من أسباب صلاح أبنائها إن شاء الله وكم حفظ الله من ذرية بصلاح آبائها. 2- حسن اختيار الاسم إذ الاسم له أثر على صاحبه والأسماء مختلفة منها المستحب ومنها المباح ومنها المكروه ومنها المحرم، وقد صار هم أكثر الناس اليوم البحث عن الأسماء الجديدة بغض النظر عن معانيها أو أحكامها. فكم من فتاة تحمل اسما ذا معنى سيئ، وكم من فتاة تحمل اسميا أعجميا وهي من أبوين عربيين وتعيش في بيئة عربية. 3- توفير حاجات البدن من غذاء ولباس ودواء، والسعي لأجل هذا الغرض من اسباب دخول الجنة فقد دخلت على عائشة رضي الله عنها امرأة ومعها ابنتان لها وكانت المرأة فقيرة معدة قالت عائشة فسألتني فلم تجد عندي غير تمرة واحدة فأخذتها فقسمتها بين ابنتيها ولم تأكل منها شيئاً ثم قامت فخرجت وابنتاها فدخل النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم فحدثته حديثها فقال إن الله قد أوجب لها بها الجنة وأعتقها بها من النار) روه الشيخان. 4- إكرامهن والعطف عليهن ورحمتهن: كان النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم إذا دخلت عليه فاطمة قال مرحباً بابنتي، وخرج يوماً يصلي بالناس وهو يحمل أمامة بنت إبنته زينب، فكان إذا ركع وضعها وإذا قام حملها، وكأنه لم يكن عندها من يقوم بأمرها فخشي عليها، أو أراد أن يشرع للناس ليتأسوا بهديه صلوات الله وسلامه عليه. كان النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم من أرحم الناس بالصبية عموماً سواء كانوا ذكورا أو إناثاً يقبلهم ويمسح على رؤوسهم ويدعو لهم ويداعبهم وفي هذا خير كثير. وكلما كبرت الفتاة احتاجت إلى مزيد من الشعور بالتقدير والاحترام فإذا وفرت لها هذه الحاجة وأحست بأن لها في بيت أبويها قيمة ومنزلة كان ذلك أدعى إلى استقرار نفسيتها وطمأنينتها واستقامة أحوالها. أما إذا رأت الاحتقار والإهمال فلا تعامل إلا بلغة الأمر والنهي وطلب الخدمة أو رثها ذلك كرها لبيتها ولأهلها وربما وسوس لها الشيطان فأخذت تبحث عما تفقد من العطف والحنان بالطرق المحرمة التي تؤدي بها إلى هاوية سحيقة الله أعلم أين يكون قرارها. 5- العدل بينها وبين إخوتها من الذكور والإناث فإن الشعور بالظلم والانحياز إلى غيرها أكثر منها يزرع في نفسها الكره على أبويها والحقد على من فضل عليها من إخوتها أو أخواتها، فاتقوا الله واعدلوا بين أولادكم أما في النفقة فعلى حسب الحاجة، وأما في الهبة فللذكر مثل حظ الأنثيين وإن سوي بينهم فيها فهو حسن. 6- تربيتها تربية إسلامية وتعاهدها منذ مدارج العمر الأولى، تربيتها على آداب الاستئذان آداب الطعام والشراب، آداب اللباس، تلقينها ما تيسر من القرآن والأذكار الشرعية تعليمها الوضوء والصلاة وأمرها بها إذا كانت سبع وإلزامها بها إذا صارت بنت عشر، فإنها إذا نشئت على الخير ألفته وأحبته، وسهل عليها الالتزام به والثبات عليه. 7- تعليمها وتدريبها على ما تحتاج إليه بعد انتقالها إلى عش الزوجية من آداب التعامل مع الزوج، والقيام بشؤون البيت من طبخ وتنظيف ونحوه. فإن من الأسر من تهمل هذا الجانب فإذا انتقلت الفتاة إلى بيت زوجها وإذا بها لا تحسن طبخا ولا نفخا، ولا عشرة ولا تعاملاً وقد يكون الزوج قليل الصبر سريع الغضب فتنشأ المشاكل في وقت مبكر وقد تنتهي بالطلاق. 8- المبادرة إلى تزويجها إذا بلغت مبلغ النساء وتقدم لها من يرضى دينه وأمانته وخلقه ورضيت به فإن هذا من أعظم الإحسان لأن تأخر الفتاة عن الزواج من أعظم أسباب الانحراف عن الطريق السوية، لاسيما في هذا العصر. وتيسير ولي الفتاة أمر زواجها من مهر ومتطلبات أخرى كل ذلك مما يشجع الراغبين في التقدم إلى الفتاة ثم إلى أخواتها من بعدها، ولتحذر الأسرة المسلمة من تأخير نكاح الفتاة بحجة إتمام الدراسة أو بحجة أن الفتاة لا تزال صغيره ونحوها من المعاذير الواهية لأنه أمر يعود المجتمع بأسوء العواقب. 9- تعاهدها بالصلة والزيارة بعد تزويجها وتلمس حاجاتها وعلاج ما يعترضها من المشكلات ومشاركتها في أفراحها وأتراحها، ولتحذر الأسرة ولا سيما الأم من التدخل المباشر في حياة ابنتها فإن كثرة دخولها فيما لا يعنيها قد يودي بحياة ابنتها الزوجية جـ - سبل الوقاية من مخاطر العصر: لا يخفى عليك أختي المسلمة أننا نعيش في زمن كثرت فتنه، وتهيأت فيه من سبل الفساد والضلال ما لم يتهيأ مثله في عصر من العصور السابقة، وهذا يؤكد عليك المسؤولية ويوجب مضاعفة الجهد في التربية والنصح والتوجيه والأخذ بأسباب السلامة ومن سبل الوقاية على وجه الإيجاز: 1- استقامة الأب والأم وصلاحهما فإن صلاح الأبوين مما يحفظ الله به الذرية، كما قال تعالى في سورة الكهف في قصة موسى والخضر (حتى إذا أتيا أهل قرية استطعما أهلها فأبوا أن يضيفوهما فوجدا فيها جداراً يريد أن ينقض فأقامه قال لو شئت لاتخذت عليه أجراً) قال الخضر بعد ذلك مبينا سبب إصلاحه الجدار دون أن يتخذ عليه أجرة (وأما الجدار فكان لغلامين يتيمين في المدينة وكان تحته كنز لهما وكان أبوهما صالحاً فأراد ربك أن يبلغا أشدهما ويستخرجا كنزهما رحمة من ربك) فحفظ الله الغلامين بصلاح أبيهما. 2- العناية بشأن الدعاء فإن له أثراً عظيماً، فابتهال الأبوين وتضرعهما إلى الله أن يصلح أولادهم من أسباب الخير وأبوابه، ومن مستحسن الأخبار في هذا الباب ما يروى أن الفضيل بن عياض إمام الحرم المكي في زمانه قال (اللهم إني اجتهدت أن أؤدب ابني علياً فلم اقدر على تأديبه فأدبه أنت لي) فتغير حال الولد حتى صار من كبار صالحي زمانه ومات في صلاة الفجر حين قرأ الإمام قول الله تعالى (ولو ترى إذ وقفوا على النار فقالوا يا ليتنا نرد ) [انظر سير أعلام النبلاء 8/390] وقد علمنا النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم الاستعاذة بالله من الفتن، وهكذا ينبغي أن يعلم الأبناء الدعاء ويلقنون منه ما ينفعه الله به، وحين ابتلي يوسف عليه السلام بفتنة النسوة قال (رب السجن أحب إلي مما يدعونني إليه وإلا تصرف عني كيدهن أصب إليهن وأكن من الجاهلين فاستجاب له ربه فصرف عنه كيدهن إنه هو السميع العليم) وعلل سبحانه استجابته دعاء يوسف بأنه سميع عليم حتى يعلم المؤمن أنه دعا ربه دعاء يعلم الله منه الصدق فإن ربه قريب مجيب. 3- تعاهد الفتاة بالتوجيه والتنبيه بالأسلوب المناسب بالمباشرة أو التلميح حسب ما يقتضيه الحال فإن القلوب تغفل ويقظتها بالنصح والتذكير والذكرى تنفع المؤمنين 4- توجيهها إلى إحسان اختيار الصديقة فإن الصداقة لها أثر عظيم في السلوك والأفكار وغير ذلك وفي الحديث (المرء على دين خليله فلينظر أحدكم من يخالل). 5- تجنيب البيت وسائل الهدم والتدمير فإن كثيراً من القنوات الفضائية وكثيراً من مواقع الانترنت تهدم أكثر مما تبني وتضر أكثر مما تنفع وتفسد أكثر مما تصلح ، وكم ضاع بسببها من شرف، وكم تلطخ بسببها من عرض، فالسلامة في البعد عنها والسلامة لا يعدلها شيء، فإن وجدت هذه الوسائل في المنزل فليراع رب الأسرة ألا تكون هذه الوسائل مفتوحة الباب على مصراعيه لأهله يتابعون منها ما يشاؤون، و يتصلون بالشبكة متى يريدون لأنهم بذلك يضرون أنفسهم ضرراً بالغاً. وهكذا أيضاً بالنسبة لأجهزة الاتصال المحمولة فإنها لم تعد اليوم وسيلة مكالمة فقط وإنما تجاوزت ذلك بكثير إذ صار الجهاز الواحد مسجل صوت، وآلة تصوير، وعارض أفلام وما أكثر ما يستخدم في إشاعة الفاحشة ونشرها. 6- القيام بواجب الرعاية فحرص ولي الأمر على ابنته وتعاهده لها من أسباب استقامة أحوالها، كما أن التفريط وإرخاء الحبل من أسباب الانفلات فقم بواجبك قيام الرجال لا تسمح لأهلك بالتبرج والسفور ومخالطة الرجال الأجانب عنها، والسفر بغير محرم، وإنما يتجرأ النساء على هذا غالباً إذا رأين التغاضي والإهمال من قبل أوليائهن. 7- الحذر كل الحذر من انفصام عرى الاجتماع العائلي الأسري، فإن كثيراً من الأسر اليوم تشتكي ضعف الرابطة بين أفرادها فكل منشغل بخاصة نفسه الأب في واد والأم في واد والأولاد كل في عالمه الخاص وما من شك أن هذا الفراغ يولد مشاكل كبيرة لكنها تنمو شيئاً فشيئاً مع الزمن حتى تحين ساعة الصفر فيقع الانفجار فتستيقظ الأسرة لكن بعد فوات الأوان. 8- لا تظن أختي المسلمة أن الخطر الذي يهدد المرأة هو خطر الانحراف الخلقي بالوقوع في الفواحش أو المخدرات ونحوها بل هي أيضاً مهددة بخطر آخر وهو الخطر الفكري فالمرأة معرضة لأن تقع في شراك من إشراك الفرق الهالكة التي أخبر عنها النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم والبالغ عددها ثنتين وسبعين فرقة وكم من النساء اليوم يدن دين الخوارج ويؤثرن في أزواجهن وأبنائهن وتلميذاتهن وكم من النساء من يتبنين العقائد الصوفية ويقمن مجالسها واحتفالاتها التي ما أنزل الله بها من سلطان إلى غير ذلك من صور المخالفة للسنة فهذا يوجب على رب الأسرة أن يحتاط ويأخذ حذره فيتنبه لمصادر التغذية الفكرية التي تغذي قلوب وعقول أهل بيته. هذا وأسأل الله الهداية والصلاح للمسلمين والمسلمات واستقامة أحوالهم، كما أسأله أن يوفق الفتاة المسلمة للالتزام بدينها، والثبات على المنهاج الحق وأن يعيذها من مضلات الفتن ما ظهر منها وما بطن والحمد لله رب العالمين. كاتب المقال علي بن يحيى الحدادي إمام وخطيب جامع عائشة رضي الله عنها بالرياض

VI: Keep Only a Few Friends

Sufyaan ath-Thawri (rahimahullaah) said that one foolishly compromised one’s religion when one kept too many friends. Having too many acquaintances diverts one from one’s duty towards one’s Lord, for a person who has many friends is always busy socializing with them and fulfilling their rights over him; so he becomes preoccupied with people when he really should be preoccupied with his religious duties. The ill-effects of being too gregarious can last well beyond a social gathering. Sufyaan said, “I might meet a brother and as a result, remain heedless (of what I should be doing) for an entire month.”

A friend, Sufyaan insisted, should be someone who helps one to improve as a Muslim; otherwise he is not worth keeping as a friend. Sufyaan expressed this sentiment when he sad, “If someone is not with you, then he is against you.”

And Yousuf ibn Asbaat reported that he heard Sufyaan ath-Thawri say, “Whenever I spoke contrary to the desires of any man, he, regardless of who he was, would inevitably become furious with me. The people of knowledge and piety have departed.”

Sufyaan once advised someone to test the character of the person he wanted to befriend. Sufyaan said, “Choose whoever you want as your companion. But when you have made your choice, make him angry, and then order someone to go and ask him what he thinks about you-without him knowing that you sent that person.”

Bakr ibn Muhammad Al-’Aabid related that Sufyaan ath-Thawri once said to him, “Direct me to a man with whom I can keep company.” Sufyaan said, “You are searching for something that cannot be found.”

Khalf ibn Ismaa’eel Al-Barzaanee reported that he heard Sufyaan ath-Thawri said, “Acquaint yourself with fewer people, and as a result, you will backbite less (frequently).” And Sufyaan ibn ‘Uyainah said, “I once saw ath-Thawri in my sleep and I said to him, ‘Advise me,’ and he responded, ‘Acquaint yourself with fewer people.”

|Taken from:  Biography of Imam Sufyaan ath-Thawri

Teaching the Children how to pray when they reach the age of Seven

It was narrated by ‘Amr bin Shu’ayb from his father from his grandfather who said that the Messenger of Allah (may the peace & blessings of Allah be upon him) said: (Order your children to perform prayer at the age of seven and spank them when they become ten. And give them separate areas to sleep in (when they reach these ages).)

And from Aboo Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said that the Messenger of Allah (may the peace & blessings of Allah be upon him) said: (Teach your children how to perform their prayers when the reach seven years and spank them when they become ten. And separate them in their beds.)

And from ‘Abdul-Maalik bin Rabee’ bin Sabrah al-Juhanee from his father from his grandfather who said that the Messenger of Allah (may the peace & blessings of Allah be upon him) said: (When a boy reaches seven years of age he is to be ordered to perform prayer and he is to be spanked when he reaches the age of ten.)

And it was narrated by al-Haatibee who is ‘Uthmaan bin Ibraaheem bin Muhammad bin Haatib who said that he heard Ibn ‘Umar saying to a man, “Teach your child good manners for you are responsible for what you teach him or her and he or she will be responsible for being righteous with you and obeying you.)

And ‘Alee (may Allah be pleased with him) said concerning the statement of the Most High: {Save your selves and your families from the fire…} at-Tahreem: 6“Teach them (their religion) and show them how to have good manners.”

Taken from Ahkaam-un-Nisaa’e of Ibn al-Jawzee (rahimahullah) pages 20-22 with verification by Ahmad Shoohaan and printed by Maktabah at-Turaath first edition. Translated by Aboo ‘Imraan al-Mekseekee-may Allah guide him.