The Right of Parents
No single person, in the right frame of mind, believes in denial the rights of the parents unto their own children. The parents are, indeed , the very reason for the existence of their child . Both parents are entitled to great rights by their children in accordance to Islam, and all other sounds principles, as well. But, let us closely examine the right of parents to their children according to Islam.
Parents raise their own children and care for them through their childhood. Both suffer a lot for the comfort, pleasure, happiness , health and satisfaction of their children. They wake up and stayed awake, in order for their child to sleep. They suffer all kinds of headache , fatigue , and tiredness for the contentment of their child , particularly while they are infants.
A mother carries the child in her womb , for nine lunar months , in most normal pregnancies . She gives her fetus from her own food and sustenance bearing all the biological, chemical , and physical changes that she is burdened with , with a pleasant feeling , high hopes and beautiful expectation of her beloved baby. All these difficulties encountered by a mother , although causing her fatigue , weakness end many other problems , are not but pleasure to most normal pregnant mothers who re in love with their children in their wombs. Allah , the Almighty stated in the glorious Quran :
سُوۡرَةُ لقمَان
وَوَصَّيۡنَا ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٲلِدَيۡهِ حَمَلَتۡهُ أُمُّهُ ۥ وَهۡنًا عَلَىٰ وَهۡنٍ۬ وَفِصَـٰلُهُ ۥ فِى عَامَيۡنِ أَنِ ٱشۡڪُرۡ لِى وَلِوَٲلِدَيۡكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلۡمَصِيرُ (١٤
“ And We have enjoined on man ( to be good) to his parents: In travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain , was his weaning ( Her the command to Me and to thy parents: To Me is ( he final) Goal” 31:14
Later in the life of the child , his mother nurses the child regardless of hoe tiring this process is , how demanding it may be , how difficult it could become at times , but still mothers sacrifice all for their beloved babies. Normal mothers willingly , happily and gladly do that for their beloved children , in the most ordinary cases for two years or even longer , without compliant , burden or even hesitation , day and night, summer and winter, busy or unoccupied , tired or rested , happy or sad , as mothers again take special interest in their babies.
It is, therefore , for that very reason , along with many others, illustrated later , that Allah, the Almighty, constituted this immense right on man towards his parents. The sacrifices of mothers mainly are most distinct, unique and an act that stands on its own merits. Fathers nevertheless are also next in importance for the child is at an early stage of his/her life when such child can not fetch for himself , defend himself or earn for himself. Mothers , however, carry on their emotions , caring feelings, loving and concern about their own children for much longer periods in life. In fact , some mothers approach death , or even their own children have grand children , but yet , they still considered them “babies” as, they never left that infant and helpless stage. For that reason , Allah , the Almighty , stated in the glorious Quran :
الإسرَاء
۞ وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوٓاْ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلۡوَٲلِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَـٰنًاۚ إِمَّا يَبۡلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلۡڪِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوۡ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ۬ وَلَا تَنۡہَرۡهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوۡلاً۬ ڪَرِيمً۬ا (٢٣) وَٱخۡفِضۡ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحۡمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا (٢٤)
“ Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old stage in thy life , say no word to them in contempt , nor repel them but address them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, bower to them the wing of humility, and say: “ My Lord! Bestow upon them thy mercy even as they cherished me childhood”. 17:23-24
The most essential right of parents unto their children, male and female , is to be most kind , helpful , respectful , caring , mindful , gentle and keen to them. A child must exert every effort , financial ability and physical abilities to be kind , good, helpful , protective and serving to them at any given time of their life. A child must , at any given time in his life , obey their commands and follow their requests and instructions , as long as such instructions and commands do not contradict , conflict with , or disrespect the command of Allah , the Almighty , or cause the child any physical or mental harm.
A child must be kind in words , treatment and actions to his parents. It is a right of the parents on their children to be pleasant in their presence and serve them with pleasure and without any complaints , hidden or apparent. It is their due right to be served from their children at their old age, in case of aging and illness and being very weak , with no compliant , criticism or grievance. A child will , most likely , suffer the same things his parents from in aging , weakness and may be the state of senility. A child in most normal circumstances, could become a parent himself , and may become an undesirable or unwanted parent in his children home or house hold , if Allah , the Almighty , wanted for such a child this situation. Such an aging parent is in need for help , caring and assistance of his children as well. This is the normal life, as you deal others , and especially your parents , Allah , the Almighty , will provide you with children who will treat you in the same manner and fashion . Therefore , if a child grew up to be kind to his old and aging parents, when they need care , service and assistance , let him rest assured that Allah, the Almighty , will cause his children to be as nice , or on the contrary , as evil , as one was to his parents. In fact , as you treat your parents , your own children will treat you. Moreover , Allah , the Almighty, placed the parents in such a high position in accordance with Islam , the religion of he pure, innate and practical way of life. The rights of parents as preserved by in Islam by Allah , the Almighty , are so immense that He, the Almighty, placed their rights upon their children nest to His Own right upon man, Whom He , the Almighty, created , cherished , sustained and supported. Allah stated in the glorious Quran:
سُوۡرَةُ النِّسَاء
۞ وَٱعۡبُدُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَلَا تُشۡرِكُواْ بِهِۦ شَيۡـًٔ۬اۖ وَبِٱلۡوَٲلِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَـٰنً۬ا وَبِذِى ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰ وَٱلۡيَتَـٰمَىٰ وَٱلۡمَسَـٰكِينِ وَٱلۡجَارِ ذِى ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰ وَٱلۡجَارِ ٱلۡجُنُبِ وَٱلصَّاحِبِ بِٱلۡجَنۢبِ وَٱبۡنِ ٱلسَّبِيلِ وَمَا مَلَكَتۡ أَيۡمَـٰنُكُمۡۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ مَن ڪَانَ مُخۡتَالاً۬ فَخُورًا (٣٦
“ Serve God, and join not any partners with Him ; and good to parents”. 4:36
Allah’s Apostle , Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam, places kindness to parents in a position higher than jihad , struggle and actual fight for the cause of Allah , the Almighty, in an Islamic battle and for a noble Islamic cause. Ibn Masoud, Radhi Allahu Anhu , companion of Allah’s Apostle , Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam narrated that :” I asked Allah’s Apostle , Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam, : ‘What is the most beloved deed in the sight of Allah , the Almighty?” He, Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam, said:” Offering Salah in its due and prescribed time .” I, then asked: “ What is next”? He Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam, said “ kindness to one’s parents. “ I further askd :” What is next?” He, Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam, said :” Jihad for the cause of Allah , the Almighty.” This Hadith statement of Allah’s Apostle reported by both Bukhari and Muslim
This Hadith, definitely , shows the importance of the rights of parents upon their children .It is a very unfortunate situation to notice , nowadays that many individuals , regardless of creed , believe , national or geographical location , social or economical status , are showing discern , humiliation , carelessness , indifference or even neglect to their own parents . At times , the best thing that one does is to send a gift , a greeting card or a message with someone , a telephone call , or a telegram or a even a fax to his parent wishing them a happy year , a happy birthday , a happy anniversary or any other occasion. One forgets that amount of effort they exerted physically , biologically , socially , economically , emotionally and spiritually to see their beloved child grow to become what he/she is. Occasionally , children may get together for reunion , so to speak to , or for a special occasion or event. Nine out of ten times if you ask a person whi is brought up in a western hemisphere , although he might be a Mislim , about what he would do with own parents when they grow olf , grumpy and maybe incapable of caring for their own affairs , the answer comes spontaneously : “ I will arrange a very nice, clean and pleasnt nursing home!!!!” What caring a child ! One forget totally what his parents did for him at his young age ! How much they suffered and struggled for him. How much they sacrificaed for his safety , pleasure , health and happiness. That is history . He can not take the extra effort to care for them when they really need his care and company in a pay back so to speak terms and conditions!!! Moreover , it is noticed , nowadays also that some very unfortunate parents are treated rather inhumanely by their own children . There are even some other children who do not admit any right for their parents but rather discern them, attempt to ridicule them , insult them , humiliate them or even beat them in private , or at times in public callings from senile , old man , old woman , and every other name in the book. Such youngsters will get their due and fair reward in this life before the hereafter , Allah , the Almighty, knows best.
Islam insists on the rights of the parents due to the very nature of human feelings , human needs , human race and society. That , what we, Muslims believe is a sort of dedication that Allah, the Almighty , placed in the hearts of the young Muslims generation so the Muslims Society become distinguished and unique for its own merits. Allah Says,
سُوۡرَةُ لقمَان
وَوَصَّيۡنَا ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٲلِدَيۡهِ حَمَلَتۡهُ أُمُّهُ ۥ وَهۡنًا عَلَىٰ وَهۡنٍ۬ وَفِصَـٰلُهُ ۥ فِى عَامَيۡنِ أَنِ ٱشۡڪُرۡ لِى وَلِوَٲلِدَيۡكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلۡمَصِيرُ (١٤
Allah, the Almighty, stated in the glorious Quran:
“ Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents.” 31:14
That is the Islamic criterion for the right of the parents. This is but a truly human , honoring and respectful treatment to the physical parents who produced us from their very existence , dedicated their life , efforts , wealth and all what that they can afford to see us the way we are. Those who stayed awake during the nights when we ached , deprived themselves new clothes to see us wearing new clothes , suffered when we suffered , celebrated our first step , felt happy and proud when we achieved , felt miserable and unhappy when we failed. That is why we should honor them at their old age. This natural right for the parents is preserved , honored, respected and practiced by truly committed Muslims, young and old, anywhere in the Islamic world. That is also why we urge everyone , Muslim or non-Muslim to learn about the beauty of Islam as a complete and integral way of life. It is indeed the religion of pure and innate that does not clash or contradicted with the correct natural matters of this life.
http://abdurrahman.org/character/essentialrights.html#3
