| "O my son! Join not in worship others with Allâh. Verily, joining others in worship with Allâh is a great injustice indîd." [31:13] |
| "and We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and good to his parents. His mother bore him upon weakness and hardship" [31:14] |
| "And his weaning is in two years, give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination." [ 31:14] |
| "And if they both strive with you to make you join in worship with me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly." [31:15] |
| "O my son! If it be equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and tough it be as a rock, or in the Heavens or the earth, Allâh will bring it forth. Verily Allâh is subtle in bringing out that grain, well aware of its place." [31:16] |
| "O my son! Offer prayer perfectly." [31:17] |
| "And bear with patience whatever befalls you. Verily, these are some of the important commandments ordered by Allâh with no exemption." [31:17] |
| "And turn not your face away from men with pride." [31:18] |
| "Nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily Allâh likes not each arrogant boaster." [31:18] |
| "And lower your voice. Verily the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying] of an ass!!" [31:19] |
Showing Mercy Towards Children is a Means of Achieveing the Mercy of AllahFrom Umm 'Abdillah Al-Waadi'iyyah's "Naseehati Lin-Nisaa' " (My Advice to the Women). I typed this excerpt from the english translation published by Tarbiyyah Bookstore. To save time in typing, I omitted the chains of narration for the ahadeeth (but still included all references), as some of them were rather long. Other than that, I didn't deviate from the translated text, translated by the brother Abul-Layth.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter: Whoever Does Not Show Mercy Will Not Be Shown Mercy (pages 117-122):
Aboo Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allah, salallahu 'alaihi wa salam, kissed Al-Hasan while Al-Aqra ibn Haabis at-Tameemee was sitting near him. A-Aqra said, "Indeed I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them." The Messenger of Allah looked at him and said, "Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy." [Saheeh al-Bukhaari, 426/10]
From Shaddaad ibn Aws who said that the Messenger of Alah, salallahu 'alaihi wa salam, said, "Verily Allah has perscribed al-ihsaan (excellence) for everything. So when you kill, you should kill in the best manner. And when you slaughter, you should slaughter in the best manner. Let each of you sharpen his knife to provide ease for his animal." [Saheeh Muslim]
"Al-ihsaan" or "excellence" in the arabic language is procifency in performing an action, while perfecting it with sincerity. In Islaamic law, Al-Ihsaan is what the Prophet, salallahu 'alaihi wa salam, has explained in his statement: "That you worship Allah as though you see Him, but since you are un able to see Him, then He most certainly sees you."
Ibn Rajab said concerning the prophetic narration of Shaddaad, "This prophetic narration indicates the obligation of excellence in all of the actions." [Jami'Al-Uloom 151]
From the types of mercy which can be shown to a child is kissing him: 'Aa'ishah said that a Bedouin man came to the Prophet, salallahu 'alaihi wa salam, and said, "You (people) kiss the children and we do not kiss them." So the Prophet said, "Is there anything that I can do once Allah has removed mercy from your heart?" [Saheeh Al-Bukhari 426/10]
'Umayr ibn Ishaaq said, "I was with Al-Hasan ibn 'Alee when we met with Aboo Hurayrah who said, "Show me where I might kiss you in the place where I saw the messenger of Allah kiss." He replied, "Al-Qameesah" (shirt or upper garment), He said, "So he kissed the front of his stomach." [Ahmed with a hasan chain]
From the types of mercy that can be shown to a child is carrying him while in prayer. Abu Qataadah said that the Prophet, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, came out to us with Umaamah bint Abeel-'Aas on his shoulders. Then he prayed. When he bowed, he placed her on the ground and when he rose from bowing, he lifted her back off the ground." [Saheeh Al-Bukhaari]
On the authority of Abu Shaddaad, from his father, who said that the Prophet, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, came out to us for one of the 'ishaa prayers carrying Hasan and Husayn. The Messenger of Allah stepped forward and set them both down. Then he prayed and prostrated between their backs a single prostration that was lengthy. My (Abu Shaddaad's) father said, 'Then I raised my head and the child was on the back of the Messenger of Allah while he was prostrating. I then returned to my prostration.' So once the Messenger of Allah had completed his prayer, the people said, 'O Messenger of Allah, certainly you have prostrated between two backs in your prayer. Certainly the length of this prostration led us to believe that something had happened or that revelation had decended upon you.' He, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, said, 'None of that occured, rather this child moved around me and I didn't wish to disturb him until he had finished.' [hadeeth collected in An-Nasaa'ee, authenticated by Shaykh Muqbil]
From the types of mercy that can be shown to smaller children is playing with them: Umm Khaalid bint Khaalid ibn Sa'eed said, "I came to the Messenger of Allah, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, along with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt. The messenger of Allah said, 'Sanah, sanah!' (this means 'good' in the ethiopian langauge) Umm Khaalid further said, 'Then I started playing with the seal of Prophethood. My father admonished me, but the Messenger of Allah said (to my father) 'Leave her.' The Messenger of Allah then addressed me saying, 'Ablee wa akhliqee, thumma ablee wa akhliqee, thumma ablee wa akhliqee.' (Trans. note: This phrase 'ablee wa akhliqee' is used by the arabs to supplicate for an extended life. Its meaning could be conveyed in the following expression: 'May you live so long that your garments become worn and ragged.') So she (Umm Khaalid) remained this way until (this supplication for her became actualized and subsequently) she would be mentioned by the people," meaning that she would remain until her garments became old and ragged. [Saheeh Al-Bukhaari 425/10]
Mahmood ibn Ar-Rabee' said, "I remember when I was a boy of Five years old, the Prophet, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, took water from a bucket with his mouth (majjatan majjahaa) and threw it in my face."
Al-Haafidh said, " 'Majj' is the expelling of water from the mouth. It is said that nothing is refered to as 'majj' except if it is from a distance. The action of the Prophet, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, with Mahmood was either from his play with him or it was a means of blessing him with it just as he used to do with the children of his companions."
Anas ibn Maalik said, "Certainly the Prophet, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, used to spend time with us to the extent that he even said to my young brother, 'Oh father of 'Umayr, what did the little birdie do?' " [Saheeh Al-Bukhaari 526/10]
In addition, from the types of mercy that can be shown to a child is placing the child in one's lap. 'Usaamah ibn Zayd said that the Messenger of Allah, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, used to take me and place me on his thigh and he would place al-Hasan ibn 'Alee on his other thigh, then he would come close to us and say, "Oh Allah! Please be merciful to them, for indeed, I am merciful to them." [Saheeh Al-Bukhaari 434/10]
Therefore, this is how one might be affectionate with the smaller children concerning everything they might need or how they might be amused. This is an appropiate means of showing them mercy and affection, as long as this does not lead towards bringing about improper behavior.
Certainly the Prophet, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, has praised the women of Quraysh because they possessed praiseworthy characteristics and from them is their affection for children.
Narrated upon Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allah, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, said, "The best wome to ever ride the camel were the women of Quraysh." [Saheeh Al-Bukhari 511/9]
He also said, "The most righteous from the women of Quraysh are those who are most affectionate ("ahnaah") to the child during its youth and who are most protective concerning their husband's property." Al-Haafidh said that "ahnaah" is from affection, which is compassion and tenderness.
The mercy that is shown to the young children and other than them is from the reasons that cause a person to achieve the mercy of Allah.
It has also reached us from the Prophet, slallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, that he said, "He is not from us who does not show mercy to the young and does not honor the old."
“Allaah continues to plant seedlings in this religion that He supports it with, they are youngsters amongst you today, but they may be the Kibaar [major scholars or elders] after you.”Muhammad ibn Ahmad ibn Rizq informed us that…‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Ubayd ibn ‘Umayr said: ‘Amr ibn al ‘Aas stood at a circle of knowledge amongst Quraysh and said:
Shaikh Muhammad 'Umar Baazmool |
Al-Ibaanah Book Publishing |
guide us in this matter. The parent-child code of behavior in Islam is unique, since rules were laid down by divine command.The Right of ParentsNo single person, in the right frame of mind, believes in denial the rights of the parents unto their own children. The parents are, indeed , the very reason for the existence of their child . Both parents are entitled to great rights by their children in accordance to Islam, and all other sounds principles, as well. But, let us closely examine the right of parents to their children according to Islam.Parents raise their own children and care for them through their childhood. Both suffer a lot for the comfort, pleasure, happiness , health and satisfaction of their children. They wake up and stayed awake, in order for their child to sleep. They suffer all kinds of headache , fatigue , and tiredness for the contentment of their child , particularly while they are infants.A mother carries the child in her womb , for nine lunar months , in most normal pregnancies . She gives her fetus from her own food and sustenance bearing all the biological, chemical , and physical changes that she is burdened with , with a pleasant feeling , high hopes and beautiful expectation of her beloved baby. All these difficulties encountered by a mother , although causing her fatigue , weakness end many other problems , are not but pleasure to most normal pregnant mothers who re in love with their children in their wombs. Allah , the Almighty stated in the glorious Quran :
“ And We have enjoined on man ( to be good) to his parents: In travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain , was his weaning ( Her the command to Me and to thy parents: To Me is ( he final) Goal” 31:14Later in the life of the child , his mother nurses the child regardless of hoe tiring this process is , how demanding it may be , how difficult it could become at times , but still mothers sacrifice all for their beloved babies. Normal mothers willingly , happily and gladly do that for their beloved children , in the most ordinary cases for two years or even longer , without compliant , burden or even hesitation , day and night, summer and winter, busy or unoccupied , tired or rested , happy or sad , as mothers again take special interest in their babies.It is, therefore , for that very reason , along with many others, illustrated later , that Allah, the Almighty, constituted this immense right on man towards his parents. The sacrifices of mothers mainly are most distinct, unique and an act that stands on its own merits. Fathers nevertheless are also next in importance for the child is at an early stage of his/her life when such child can not fetch for himself , defend himself or earn for himself. Mothers , however, carry on their emotions , caring feelings, loving and concern about their own children for much longer periods in life. In fact , some mothers approach death , or even their own children have grand children , but yet , they still considered them “babies” as, they never left that infant and helpless stage. For that reason , Allah , the Almighty , stated in the glorious Quran :
“ Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old stage in thy life , say no word to them in contempt , nor repel them but address them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, bower to them the wing of humility, and say: “ My Lord! Bestow upon them thy mercy even as they cherished me childhood”. 17:23-24The most essential right of parents unto their children, male and female , is to be most kind , helpful , respectful , caring , mindful , gentle and keen to them. A child must exert every effort , financial ability and physical abilities to be kind , good, helpful , protective and serving to them at any given time of their life. A child must , at any given time in his life , obey their commands and follow their requests and instructions , as long as such instructions and commands do not contradict , conflict with , or disrespect the command of Allah , the Almighty , or cause the child any physical or mental harm.A child must be kind in words , treatment and actions to his parents. It is a right of the parents on their children to be pleasant in their presence and serve them with pleasure and without any complaints , hidden or apparent. It is their due right to be served from their children at their old age, in case of aging and illness and being very weak , with no compliant , criticism or grievance. A child will , most likely , suffer the same things his parents from in aging , weakness and may be the state of senility. A child in most normal circumstances, could become a parent himself , and may become an undesirable or unwanted parent in his children home or house hold , if Allah , the Almighty , wanted for such a child this situation. Such an aging parent is in need for help , caring and assistance of his children as well. This is the normal life, as you deal others , and especially your parents , Allah , the Almighty , will provide you with children who will treat you in the same manner and fashion . Therefore , if a child grew up to be kind to his old and aging parents, when they need care , service and assistance , let him rest assured that Allah, the Almighty , will cause his children to be as nice , or on the contrary , as evil , as one was to his parents. In fact , as you treat your parents , your own children will treat you. Moreover , Allah , the Almighty, placed the parents in such a high position in accordance with Islam , the religion of he pure, innate and practical way of life. The rights of parents as preserved by in Islam by Allah , the Almighty , are so immense that He, the Almighty, placed their rights upon their children nest to His Own right upon man, Whom He , the Almighty, created , cherished , sustained and supported. Allah stated in the glorious Quran:
“ Serve God, and join not any partners with Him ; and good to parents”. 4:36Allah’s Apostle , Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam, places kindness to parents in a position higher than jihad , struggle and actual fight for the cause of Allah , the Almighty, in an Islamic battle and for a noble Islamic cause. Ibn Masoud, Radhi Allahu Anhu , companion of Allah’s Apostle , Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam narrated that :” I asked Allah’s Apostle , Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam, : ‘What is the most beloved deed in the sight of Allah , the Almighty?” He, Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam, said:” Offering Salah in its due and prescribed time .” I, then asked: “ What is next”? He Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam, said “ kindness to one’s parents. “ I further askd :” What is next?” He, Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam, said :” Jihad for the cause of Allah , the Almighty.” This Hadith statement of Allah’s Apostle reported by both Bukhari and MuslimThis Hadith, definitely , shows the importance of the rights of parents upon their children .It is a very unfortunate situation to notice , nowadays that many individuals , regardless of creed , believe , national or geographical location , social or economical status , are showing discern , humiliation , carelessness , indifference or even neglect to their own parents . At times , the best thing that one does is to send a gift , a greeting card or a message with someone , a telephone call , or a telegram or a even a fax to his parent wishing them a happy year , a happy birthday , a happy anniversary or any other occasion. One forgets that amount of effort they exerted physically , biologically , socially , economically , emotionally and spiritually to see their beloved child grow to become what he/she is. Occasionally , children may get together for reunion , so to speak to , or for a special occasion or event. Nine out of ten times if you ask a person whi is brought up in a western hemisphere , although he might be a Mislim , about what he would do with own parents when they grow olf , grumpy and maybe incapable of caring for their own affairs , the answer comes spontaneously : “ I will arrange a very nice, clean and pleasnt nursing home!!!!” What caring a child ! One forget totally what his parents did for him at his young age ! How much they suffered and struggled for him. How much they sacrificaed for his safety , pleasure , health and happiness. That is history . He can not take the extra effort to care for them when they really need his care and company in a pay back so to speak terms and conditions!!! Moreover , it is noticed , nowadays also that some very unfortunate parents are treated rather inhumanely by their own children . There are even some other children who do not admit any right for their parents but rather discern them, attempt to ridicule them , insult them , humiliate them or even beat them in private , or at times in public callings from senile , old man , old woman , and every other name in the book. Such youngsters will get their due and fair reward in this life before the hereafter , Allah , the Almighty, knows best.Islam insists on the rights of the parents due to the very nature of human feelings , human needs , human race and society. That , what we, Muslims believe is a sort of dedication that Allah, the Almighty , placed in the hearts of the young Muslims generation so the Muslims Society become distinguished and unique for its own merits. Allah Says,
Allah, the Almighty, stated in the glorious Quran:
http://abdurrahman.org/character/essentialrights.html#3“ Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents.” 31:14That is the Islamic criterion for the right of the parents. This is but a truly human , honoring and respectful treatment to the physical parents who produced us from their very existence , dedicated their life , efforts , wealth and all what that they can afford to see us the way we are. Those who stayed awake during the nights when we ached , deprived themselves new clothes to see us wearing new clothes , suffered when we suffered , celebrated our first step , felt happy and proud when we achieved , felt miserable and unhappy when we failed. That is why we should honor them at their old age. This natural right for the parents is preserved , honored, respected and practiced by truly committed Muslims, young and old, anywhere in the Islamic world. That is also why we urge everyone , Muslim or non-Muslim to learn about the beauty of Islam as a complete and integral way of life. It is indeed the religion of pure and innate that does not clash or contradicted with the correct natural matters of this life.
